How to find (or be found by) your dream guy
Sometimes, young adult women who are single ask me how it came about that I was bestowed with the privilege of getting married!
Some are excellent-caliber women who just can’t seem to find the one (yet!), though they’ve waited year after year.
These girls also would like to find a great Christian guy – and some even specifically also would like to find a guy who is tall, is a pastor’s son, and works in music and film!
So, how did I do it?
Well, there’s not a step-by-step plan I can tell you, and I did not make the first move. (Anthony came up to me!) However, what I can tell you is the instruction the Lord gave me in order to meet and marry my husband.
To meet him, I just needed to serve the Lord every day, in whatever capacity He was guiding me.
Meeting my match, who wanted to marry me, came naturally from that!
(Also, another specific instruction was to move to California, where God had told me that my husband was. It doesn’t involve a cross-country move for everyone, but that’s why you need to spend time daily listening to the Lord as you meditate on the Bible and seek His voice personally for yourself.)
Years before I met my husband, I had the sense that I wouldn’t have to try to do a lot of things or change myself in order for him to like me – I would just get to be myself and he would like that.
That turned out to be the case!
There’s a lot of worldly books out there that tell you how to get a guy to like you or how to win him back if you lost him somehow.
Most of them are honestly trash.
After my first break-up as a teenager, I read a book like that and it led me down a destructive path in which I thought I had to change my personality and play various games like “hard to get” and being elusive, in order to be attractive and somehow get a guy to stay with me and never dump me!
All of this was driven by fear and selfishness, not by love. So that should be your first clue that it’s not good advice. 🤪
This cesspool of poor advice reminds me of James’ description — “such wisdom is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. But the wisdom from heaven is first of all pure and peaceable… Full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere” (James 3:16-17).
A good point from my mom, Kris Roney: “Girls should *not* deny or try to change regarding their deeply-held priorities in order to supposedly make themselves more appealing to some guy, because even if they 'win' the guy, they have lost part of themselves in the process.” #MicDropMoms 😉
Fortunately, I was walking in heaven’s wisdom when I met my husband, and God‘s advice to me stayed true. The wisdom from heaven will never lead you wrong and will write for you the most beautiful love story.
All you have to do is take step after step on the path God is laying before you.
This journey with Jesus can start long before any particular guy is on the horizon. The number one thing is just to walk with God and serve Him daily. That process is how you build His Kingdom in your life and thereby build a beautiful life, which, for the vast majority of people, includes a spouse at some point.
Feel free to reach out to me with any further questions or prayer requests! Wishing you the best husband ever and most personalized and delightful love story — tailor-made for you by the One who made you.